“The Amazing Eggman” — I’m gonna take a crack...

“The Amazing Eggman” — I’m gonna take a crack at this one someday

Original title: “Behold the Man” by Michael Moorcock (1980)

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“This Doesn’t Even Make Any Sense” — Words...

“This Doesn’t Even Make Any Sense” — Words fail me to describe this one

Original title: “Masque of a Savage Mandarin” by Philip Bedford Robinson (1974)

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Reissue: “Oh God I’m Super Stoked” — A high...

Reissue: “Oh God I’m Super Stoked” —  A high strung, overexcited space general is about to receive his covid test results.

Original title: “Sour Note on Palayata” by James H. Schmitz (1956)

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“How The Fuck Does This Thing Work” — 50’s...

“How The Fuck Does This Thing Work” — 50’s space tech was very confusing

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Reissue: “Whoops - Best get the fuck out of here”...

Reissue: “Whoops - Best get the fuck out of here” — Well, that’s definitely the wrong button. Better leg it!

Original title: “Doomsday, 1999” by Paul MacTyre (1962)

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“I’m Fucked” — I guess that’s the only...

“I’m Fucked” — I guess that’s the only correct evaluation of the situation.

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“You Forgot Your Ribbon” — Don’t think...

“You Forgot Your Ribbon” — Don’t think he’ll be needing that anymore, mate

Original title: “Oscar Thole” by Giuseppe Festino (2017)

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“Will You Pull My Finger?” — I must say I’m...

“Will You Pull My Finger?” — I must say I’m tempted, Sam

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“That Ageing Bald Man-Whistle Actually Works” —...

“That Ageing Bald Man-Whistle Actually Works” — Well, I’ll be damned…

Original title: “The Gods of Foxcroft” by David Levy (1972)

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“More Of This Unreadable Shit” — Offworld problemsA...

“More Of This Unreadable Shit” — Offworld problems

A Vintage Covers original (2021) - Artwork by Mark Zug (of whom I proudly got personal permission for this one) 

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“The Fuck Is This Shit” — Shopping online does have...

“The Fuck Is This Shit” — Shopping online does have its downsides

Original title: “The Heretic’s Feast” by Colin Spencer (1995)

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“Did You Just Shrink Our Rocket?” — You have...

“Did You Just Shrink Our Rocket?” — You have issues, Dave

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“How Am I Going To Explain This?!” — No one will...

“How Am I Going To Explain This?!” — No one will ever believe you.

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“That’s Not A Very Heavy Camera” — Even...

“That’s Not A Very Heavy Camera” — Even after reading this, I’m not sure

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Reissue: “Bitch I just made that Bed” —...

Reissue: “Bitch I just made that Bed” — Don’t you just hate that?

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“Not This Covid Shit Again” — A book we can all...

“Not This Covid Shit Again” — A book we can all relate to, I guess

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“Not Now Big Black Monolith” — Can’t you see...

“Not Now Big Black Monolith” — Can’t you see I’m fishing?

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“You Smell Like Shit” — She looks genuinly disgusted

“You Smell Like Shit” — She looks genuinly disgusted

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“You’re An Asshole” — He did sure know his...

“You’re An Asshole” — He did sure know his assholes

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“What Baby?” — Picked up this great record, shame...

“What Baby?” — Picked up this great record, shame about the subliminal messages

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