“This is the last time I buy a robot on Aliexpress” — Good book, A++ delivery, would buy again.

Original title: “What’s Become of Screwloose? and other inquiries” by Ron Goulart (1971)

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“Yo Captain Underpants” — Good thing he remembered to put on his helmet though

Original title: “Star King” by Jack Vance (1964)

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“The Face I Make When I Poo” — I can relate to this

Original title: “Satan’s Seductress” by Brian McNaughton (1981)

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“Operation Moron” — You wouldn’t want this knucklehead in your platoon…

Original title: “Escape from Nicaragua” by Jack Buchanan (1987)

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“Vague Magazine - November edition” — I do like reading various things about stuff.

Original title: “Vogue” (2019) — Illustration by Anastasiya Gepp

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“Enough Dolphins” — The untold story that was edited out of Genesis.

Original title: “Apocalypses” by R.A. Lafferty (1977) — Illustration by Ron Walotsky

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“Forgot I Can’t Read” — Fancy that… Thank god I never forgot I can’t read

Original title: “A Murder is Announced” by Agatha Christie (1951)

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“Hey I just came to bring back that nailgun I borrowed.” — Yeah powertools take some practice

Original title: “Hellraiser” (1987)

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“Captain Whatever Makes Me Look Good” — More like Captain Egocentric Asshole, if you ask me

Original title: “The Face of the Deep” by Edmond Hamilton (1942)

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“Let’s Just Pretend Nothing Happened” — It seems Lars von Trier is doing children’s books now

Original title: “The Happy Family (A Little Golden Book #216)” by Nicole (1968) — Illustration by Corinne Malvern

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“U Wot Mate?” — You don’t mess with James Knob.

Original title: “Casino Royale” by Ian Fleming (1955)

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“I Smell A Fart” — Cut down on the eggs and cheese, man.

Original title: “Gutter Gang” by Jay de Bekker (1954)

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“Crap Shot” — The 77th novel in The Ignoramus series. One clumsy bastard.

Original title: “Hollywood Hell” by Don Pendleton (1985)

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“There are Children in my Kitchen” — Great cookbook, this. Really inspirational.

Original title: “Kids Cooking” by Aileen Paul & Arthur Hawkins (1970)

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“Please Send Help” — Oh you poor child

Original title: “We Like Kindergarten” by Clara Cassidy (1965)

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“Big Fucking Deal” — Go home, corporate wizard, you have no power here

Original title: “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman (2001)

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“Woman Astronauts” — A quite dated tale of priorities, in space

Original title: “The Men in the Jungle” by Norman Spinrad (1966)

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“I’m sorry I called you a stuck-up Cunt” — I knew these deceitful hippies are not all peace and love

Original title: “The Flower People” by Henry Gross (1968)

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“Guys I Just Had The Best Idea Ever” — It’s a bit late for that baby, you are in the void of space now.

Original title: “The Divine Invasion” by Philip K. Dick (1982)

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“Knights of the Executive Committee Board Meeting” — Lancelot will phone in later. Can everybody hear me?

Original title: “The Quest of the Holy Grail” by Pauline Matarasso (1969)

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“Come Play With Us Danny” by Jack Torrance — For ever, and ever, and ever…

Original title: “The Twins” by Ruth & Harold Shane (1955) — Illustration by Eloise Wilkin

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“Goodbye Suckers” — That looks perfectly sane and safe.

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“Alexander the Great takes a selfie” — I never knew he was such an egomaniac…

Original title: “Alexander the Great” (1982)

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